Embracing the weird

First post of 2020, I've drafted this post many times but it's never been published because I've found it really hard to talk about, but here we go....I'm embracing my weird. 

Last year, I spent some time with a therapist and she gave me some information that has been a huge realisation for me.  

The information in question was that I display a large number of characteristics that feature strongly on the autistic spectrum.  Her opening question after only two sessions was - "Have you ever considered that you might be autistic?" 

I was shocked, but on further investigation and discussion with her, it was concluded that, yes, I certainly do display strongly - I just hadn't realised and no one with that kind of knowledge had ever spoken to me to offer such a conclusion!  It's taken me quite some time to fully accept it, but the more I've learned the more I see exactly what the therapist identified.  

The thing I found most amusing about this has been that all my life I've been singled out as 'special','different' or just plain 'odd' and now after all this time I finally have a reason why - it's not that my brain is broken, it just doesn't work in exactly the same way as everyone else's.  I admit that I'd never agreed with any of the people who have ever classed me as 'special' or 'different', I'd always thought that everyone was - or could be - the same as me (in the same way someone doesn't know that they are colour-blind until something happens to point it out). 

This diagnoses has also made me understand something else too...People have often 'thanked' me for somehow showing them that it's OK to be a bit different.  Whether its been due to my flamboyant dress sense or my open refusal to live within some of societies boundaries (which I'm aware are kinda the same thing).  So....I've been happily unaware that I've been showing people that it's OK to be 'odd' all my life without even admitting that I'm odd in the first place!  

So what do I do now?  I don't feel that I'm a good advocate for others who are impacted in far more extreme ways than me so I'm never going to become some outspoken activist for the autistic community, but I can still do my part by just...being me - happily showing the world that 'odd' is perfectly OK and if they want to be a little odd too they should just cut loose! I may only have a positive impact on those who meet me but if a tiny ripple can cause a huge wave, maybe one day we can all embrace our weird and be a little happier with who we are.