Barbies Chocolate Conspiracy

I've noticed something - don't panic, I'm quite astute when I think about it - but listen up - chocolate makers are trying to sucker you into eating more. 

They might argue otherwise but on the majority of bars now they show a portion size...

Looks good right?

Helping you to know how many pieces count as a portion and what the calorie intake is...The problem with this is shown in the following photo....

So, 3 pieces is a portion...but there are 4 pieces in a strip....


WHO THE HELL BREAKS OFF ONE STRIP AND THEN LEAVES A SINGLE PIECE?!?!

No one.

 So to know how much you've eaten you need to either do maths (Hard option!) or eat 3 strips to make a total of 12 pieces (or 4 portions).  (Easy option!)

The chocolate companies are trying to make me fat!

It's that time of year again!

I love October, the wheel turns as the leaves do, and the whole place is beautiful... and we have Halloween!

As a kid I loved the dressing up and as an adult ...I still love dressing up!  As a Pagan, it's an important time too, not only because I start to find really weird stuff online from people who have some strange ideas about the holiday... todays top find has to be this:

 

WOW...This is a new one to me..... Satans Birthday...I really can't explain how many holes there are in this idea.  Thankfully a young child has covered some of them for me...

A friend posted this on Facebook and received some every interesting discussion (possibly from the teacher mentioned above!) 😞

I would post extracts from the discussion here but as the commenter (as usual) ended up falling back on petty insults when they were obviously outdone, I won't give them the space.

I will provide one quick easy lesson in basic logic however:

Satan is a construct of Christianity.  Pagan is an umbrella term for pre-Christian religions.  Therefore, Pagans aren't Satanists. 

Simple huh?!

Streamworld

No, it's not a new place to visit.  Recently (thanks to Mr B) I have been watching quite a lot of streams. 

Our platform of choice is Twitch, and there are lots of options there.  Like I said, lots of gamers for all types of games - some awesome ones and some not-so-awesome too.  There are some massive streamers out there who EVERYONE has heard of (the likes of Shroud and Ninja) but its fun to watch the smaller guys, who are working themselves to the bone to build up a fan base and entertain people. some of my top picks - in no particular order - would probably be these...

Jimb0 - plays various games and has some brilliant effects that chat can play with

Rovefogle - PUBG gamer who really should be better known than he is 

 ^^^^  this dude is an awesome shot!

RTGameCrowd - Insane guy who loves making his Sims miserable.  Simply hilarious!

Mostly people play games n stream, but there are some other channels too - its a little amazing what people put out there.
There's a whole selection of IRL streams - mostly people chatting/opening new stuff/chilling in front of a webcam...

IRL stream selection 

These guys are streaming breakfast. Yes, breakfast.

 and of course...there's a Bob Ross channel

Bob Ross - the legend!

What you can't really see in the photo above is just how many people were watching when I took that shot......

7pm on a Sunday and 1,725 people are watching a Bob Ross Marathon.  That number in grey is total views.

So next time you're bored of watching the same old TV, or you're looking for some inspiration why not go and have a peek at the wonderful streaming world you probably didn't realise was there.

Conspiracy Barbie

I love a good conspiracy theory.  A GOOD one, not the Avril Lavigne one or flat earthers (They're just crazy people ;) )

Today sparked a bit of conspiracy in my mind though, everyone was complaining about being tired, like they hadn't slept well last night.  It's a pattern I've noticed a fair bit recently too.

Obviously, my brain went straight to aliens...maybe all of my work colleagues are being abducted....maybe there's a government test going on at night that disturbs your sleep in the area....maybe we all just had a heavy weekend....maybe it's just Monday...but it could still be the aliens.

Sandman Returns

When I was aged about 15, I got into comic books.  This, according to Mr. B makes me not just a geek, but an uber-geek.  Between then and about aged 25, I amassed quite a collection.  I was always loyal to the same shop - Abstract Sprocket - they were friendly and didn't treat me like an alien (as many comic book shops seemed to do back then when a g.i.r.l. walked in). 

Most of the comics I collected were slightly off the wall, independent publishing house type stuff.  I never really went for the standard super hero type of thing.

One of my biggest loves at the time was Sandman - I have the all of the comics from the time of their release (although admittedly, some of the earlier ones in graphic novels rather than in single format, although I do have single copies of No.1 and a No. 7 (the first introduction of Death) regardless).  They all live in designated comic boxes in my study, only opened with permission, and books handled with care - especially as being aged 15 was quite some time ago now!

I was delighted a year or so back, when Neil Gaiman announced the release of The Sandman Overture, a short miniseries following on from the end of the series.  It was great to be able to step back into the stories I once loved so much again.  This month was also pretty exciting, as a new series was released - The Sandman Universe.

Obviously, I no longer live in the same place as I did when I was 15 - the comic book shops locally didn't seem overly appealing (I did try one - I swear!)  Thankfully, whilst my old childhood comic shop doesn't have a website, they do kindly transact orders via email, so a brief exchange later with the wonderful Mr Dean and No.1 of the new series landed on my doormat, securely packaged like the prized possession that it should be!

I'm now looking forward to the rest of them...

Barbies newest challenge

Whilst I practice martial arts, it's not the best way to keep fit - especially my art as it relies on being relaxed and soft, not using any strength.  So I'm not very food at keeping fit/working out.  I find gyms unbearably boring and the idea of going for a run makes me stick to the sofa even harder. Swimming is fun, but the problem with public pools is that they are public and have other people in! I will use the pool in the fancy hotels I get to stay in though.

So I thought I needed to try something different....and I did.  Polefit!  If you've not coma across it, it is basically pole dancing for fitness. It's not stripping or lap dancing - I have overheard someone in the lift on my way to class say "there's a lap dance class round here somewhere"

Whist it can look very beautiful and graceful, generally what happens in a pole class is that a group of people get very hot and sweaty whilst some of them manage to pull of elaborate moves whilst others struggle to hoist themselves onto the pole.  This all takes place to a background of loud music (not the 'banging techno' you get in gyms but a mix of random up-tempo songs), the occasional cheer of accomplishment, and a whole heap of giggles and laughter.  

What most people wouldn't realise is the strength that pole dancing requires, both physical and mental! My entire body is sore for days after a class but my strength has already improved massively (I was pretty strong before, but not in the right muscles!) many of the moves also rely on you gripping a metal pole with your skin...to say that it 'nips' it quite an understatement...I have a good pain threshold and I felt sick after hanging from the pole by the inside of my elbow! You also need a bit of mental strength to throw yourself upside down and hang from your legs/hands/limbs, trusting that you won't fall and land on the floor in a heap (although that can happen!).

I would love to post a photo of me looking graceful hanging from a pole but there's no way I'm letting anyone take pictures of me doing it yet! (at least without heavy use of photoshop!)

Most classes are open to men and women so if you fancy a real challenge I really would recommend giving it a try...just don't blame me when you can't walk the next day!

Barbie has a productive day

I have quite an odd job.  I do love it, but it can be a little strange sometimes. Other than the fun travel, I'm often stuck in an office looking after my staff, but even in the office I get to do some odd shit sometimes.  One of my priorities for today was this:

I made a postbox! 

Yup, I made a postbox...and I don't work with small children.  We have a staff away day tomorrow so it is part of a bigger plan.  I'm just proud of my postbox!  The ducks are just photo-bombing, they're not coming to the day.

If you're wondering what the boxes are, I've edited out the contact details so I don't get spammed at work ;)

Barbies Forest Addiction

I play quite a lot of computer games - it is generally what I am doing when I'm not at work.  I'm also quite fussy about which games I play.

I'm not very good at first person shooter (FPS) type games (although I do find them fun as well as infuriating) I like co-op versions most but I usually end up shooting my team mates more than any enemies!  Single player FPS are fun too but I have no sense of direction when I'm playing so I find it really frustrating when I get lost or swamped by enemies and continually die at the same point.

I usually prefer strategy or simulation games.  Probably because I can't get lost!   There's been a game lately however that goes against the norm (kinda).  Its called The Forest and is a survival game where you find yourself stranded on an island following a plane crash.  Unlike most survival games there is a big storyline as well as the challenge of simply surviving.  It's quite difficult as the island is not uninhabited... there are 'dudes' everywhere who beat you up at any opportunity.  They are much easier to deal with in a group!

This game has me a little bit hooked...especially as there is a peaceful mode in the single player where you are truly alone (no bad dudes to kill).  That is probably as freaky as having enemies around, its atmospheric and lonely...but somehow still a lot of fun!

Sometimes it bugs...the fire isn't meant to do that

You can hunt food...or sometimes it comes to you and jumps on the fire

You can build a new home

Inflatable fun

I'm a Barbie, (not a blow up doll) but I'm a big kid so when I got the chance to go on this last year I jumped at the chance - literally!

A 1k inflatable assault course! It was much harder going than I expected though, some of the obstacles were truly difficult (I admit I had to pass on one that was just too slippy)  I didn't fare too badly though in reality, a chap behind me seemed overly impressed with my ability to roll which made me feel a bit better when I managed to get to the end - breathless and knackered.

I'm definitely not ready for Ninja Warrior quite yet though!

Holiday watching

I'm on holiday.  Due to a poorly cat I can't go away at the moment so I'm spending a couple of weeks at home.  I've played a lot of computer games and watched dodgy daytime TV. 

I'm fussy about TV (although sometimes it might not seem that way!) I don't watch any soaps or stuff like that and I have a hatred for most reality TV.  I say most because there are a few shows that I enjoy - Masterchef and shows of that type of format can be quite entertaining.  Mostly because I like seeing disasters.

Like this one of obliterated sugar work just before judging...

Bake Off Professionals disaster

Because I don't want to watch This Morning or other daytime talk shows I'm often found browsing the documentary channels.  That basically means I have watched every episode of Ancient Aliens, every Stonehenge or Egyptology documentary and a decades worth of Time Team.  

Over the last couple of weeks I've spotted a 'new' show (new to me - there are several seasons!) called Forged in Fire.  It is that familiar Masterchef format but what amused me most was the sheer abundance of beards.  Honestly, have a look through, it seems to be part of the entry criteria (until you spot that there are a couple of ladies in some of the seasons so they must have loosened the rules for them)  I might watch some of it, I do like weapons and the stuff they make looks quite cool from the 5 minutes I've watched so far.  I will also be giving the contestants additional points for beard/facial hair and styling though....Lets see if the same ones win ;)

Barbie undergoes renovation

So a few years ago I moved.  I'm still in the same place but due to some unbelievable luck it really doesn't look like it.

It started badly, we received notice from our landlord to move out in 6 weeks...that's quite a challenge if you haven't planned but it is do-able, although the housing market in this area moves very fast.  We took it as a good thing as we had problems with our neighbours etc and started the frantic search for somewhere else to live.

A couple of weeks into looking - already after several viewings and lots of disappointment - the 'new owners' of the property had come over...the flat had been sold to a housing association.  They didn't hesitate to offer us the option to stay (or move to  another one of their properties).  I used to work with social housing so I understood that they would never allow us to move to another property of an equivalent size - we are just a couple living in a 3 bed flat after all - so we opted to stay where we were (thank you sitting-tenant rights!) and have the place refurbished around us. 

To give a little background, the building is an old tenement which had been listed a few years ago and was in desperate need of work.  The took it back to the very shell of the building.  Not a single room or part of the flat was left untouched....so. much. dust.  It was a great amount of upheaval and almost a year of workmen coming in every day for different things.  We lived in the bedroom for at least a week!

But is was worth it..


On top of getting an almost entirely new flat they also let us choose the colour of the paint in each room...not sure they expected the front room! (There's not a drop of magnolia in the whole place)

It was Christmas....I'm not allowed to keep the lights up all year :(

Thankfully now the work from the housing association is completed on the inside - we still have some new floors to put down ourselves but that's a work in progress.  The outside of the building is covered in scaffold whilst they fix the roof..Not idea quite how long that will last - one day I will be able to see out the (new) windows properly again!

(and I've been wondering why I haven't had time to post!?!)

Twisted Barbie: Karaoke Queen

I love singing.  It was my ambition to be fully professional when I was younger.  Unfortunately it didn't quite work out how my young brain had planned so the best I managed was a few support gigs and some local pubs - I still love to sing though. 

The only opportunity I get now is at Karaoke.  It's a marmite pastime, some love it some hate it, but thankfully I have a few local friends and a world full of fellow ninjas who also love it!  I occasionally drag along poor Mr B, who seems to enjoy the atmosphere but wouldn't get up to sing if I held him at gunpoint!  He claims to not be able to sing...I know differently, but to get any better he actually needs to do it more often!

Everywhere I go there seems to be karaoke arranged...

Ninjas in Berlin

Dentists in Hong Kong

Proof the Mr B does come along!

The home of Karaoke...

Proof that I do get up too!

One of the things that I enjoy about it most is the look of surprise on the face of people who don't know I sing.   I must have a terrible speaking voice as people do seem awfully shocked! The group in Hong Kong are even demanding my return simply so they can get me on the mic again...maybe I shouldn't give up on that dream after all...

2018. What happened?

Wow.  It's July in 2018 already.  Holy Cow! Where has the time gone? 

In short, I've been working. Mostly, and that doesn't really give me much to say (that I can say on the open web without getting my ass fired anyway!). 

Part of my work is a great deal of fun, I get to travel to cool and exciting places - we will get to that later - but it is also dreadfully boring on the day to day for anyone not involved so it spawns less posts (and takes up my time). 

So, since my trip to Japan, where have I been?  New Delhi, Chennai, Fuertaventura, Berlin(twice), London, Dublin, a second trip to Chennai, and Hong Kong...Phew! now I'm out of breath, that's some miles!

My family have given up on trying to work out where I am at any one time and a friend recently called and his first question was to ask if I was in Scotland...I have lived in Scotland for 13 years but he thought he should check first before driving the 500 or so miles to come see me.  

As you could guess I have tonnes of photos from all of these locations - except Berlin - Here's a whistle-stop tour...

The only two photos(publishable!) I have from two trips to Berlin...

Danish training buddies in Berlin

The Berlin Wall - it is there, honestly!

Chennai

Henna hand

Love my sari...how does it go on again?

Delhi

Big palace (it has a Name, I just can't remember!)

Fuertaventura

Dolphins from below

My new little friend

Hong Kong 

Glass bottomed cable car

Dancing lions

Hong Kong at night

See? that's a lot of travel...

I know I promise to start posting again at some point soon, maybe 2018 is the year for it huh?